2025
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A Look Back: NYPD Mech, 1917
In 1917, New York City faced significant challenges with illegal street vending, which cluttered sidewalks and hindered commerce. In response, the NYPD employed a novel and notable method to address the issue: deploying a six-story mechanical device designed to clear out unauthorized vendors from busy thoroughfares. This mechanical apparatus was part of the city’s broader…
For Sale: This Fucking Thing
For Sale: Unique Metal Sculpture (Approximately 18 inches tall) Looking to unload this one-of-a-kind metal piece—it’s burnt, melted, bent, and unrecognizable, mounted on a sturdy wooden base measuring 1 foot by 1 foot. Despite its rugged appearance, it’s definitely not haunted, cursed, or evil—no nosebleeds, blood smells, or teratomas involved. Perfect for collectors or those…
Six Local Dumbasses Watch As Tornado Kills Six Local Dumbasses
In what has become a chilling reminder of nature’s unpredictable power, a recent tornado claimed the lives of six residents in Norman, Oklahoma. Eyewitness footage captured by one of the individuals involved paints a surreal and sobering picture. The group, aware of the severe weather warnings, chose to remain outside as the funnel cloud approached….
Response to “Reinvigorating America’s Beautiful Clean Coal Industry”
This executive order is a slap in the face to anyone concerned with environmental sustainability or economic foresight. It’s like trying to resurrect Frankenstein’s monster—bringing back an outdated, environmentally destructive industry that should’ve been put out of its misery long ago. Purpose and Policy:The order claims to “secure America’s economic prosperity” by increasing domestic coal…
Gilding the Resolute Desk
I find myself reflecting on a proposal quite far removed from my own era—President Donald Trump‘s suggestion to have the Resolute Desk in the Oval Office gilded with gold. Let me share some thoughts. During my time as First Lady, I was deeply immersed in the responsibilities and decorum expected of those residing within the…
Protecting The Meaning and Value of American Citizenship, But For Real
In my lifetime, America has wrestled with its identity and what it means to belong to this nation—a core tenet of our democracy. The Fourteenth Amendment unambiguously declares that “all persons born or naturalized in the United States…are citizens” (U.S. Const. amend. XIV, § 1). This isn’t just legalese; it’s about who we are as…
Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg on Trump’s Third Term Bid: “Such an Attempt Undermines Our Democracy”
WASHINGTON, D.C.—What the actual fuck is this shit? Former President Donald J. Trump has just announced his intention to run for a third non-consecutive term in 2028, completely disregarding our Constitution and flipping democracy the bird. Listen up, you egotistical, small-handed little man! The U.S. Constitution, as interpreted by our Supreme Court (and let’s not…